The Scabies Massacre

Once upon a time, in a land that some might considerwealthy.
another dimension, but which is closer than you mightFurthermore, the sarcoptes scabiei are a powerful
think, there lived some curious creatures, no, ugly"people", and, though they could not survive the
creatures, called sarcoptes scabiei, or more commonlyscabies treatment the human people had devised
known as scabies. The reason they are ugly, is bestagainst them, they were able to adapt themselves,
described by the quote: beauty is in the eye of theand survive much of the time when the creams were
beholder, and the human race has almost unanimouslyused.
termed these creatures as ugly. After all, eight leggedSo you see the scabies had help, so to speak, from
creatures that have pointy things on their back, andsome within the human race.
random long hairs, and jaws with which they tear intoOne day however, they decided to attack a certain
their prey's flesh, are seldom considered beautiful, iftribe, and more specifically a certain family within the
ever.tribe with many children. Unbeknownst to the parents
In this land, the scabies do not earn their keep. Theyfor almost a month (since little ones don't know how to
take what doesn't belong to them. They without mercyexpress themselves sometimes), these ruthless
feed on the LIVE flesh of men, women, and most ofcreatures began to attack the most precious, beautiful
all, children! As a "people" (I use the term mostchildren maybe the human race had ever seen! While
figuratively), they are ruthless, merciless, and downrightthe parents had seen symptoms, they were
mean. Some consider them direct messengers frombewildered at them for a time, trying different ways to
hell. Whereas other savages attack during the day, orcomfort their children, until they consulted a trusted
at least wait until first light, these ruthless scabies waitdoctor. Alas, this doctor was the peddler of the
til their prey has just gone to sleep, or an hour or twocreams that did not work!
after, and they attack by biting into the flesh of theirFor many long months the parents tried many different
victim. Now, this fight I should say is most unfair, sincethings that didn't work, always searching for a way to
the land I have been referring to, is actually the victim'swin this war on their own and their children's flesh.
flesh: talk about war on domestic soil!! This is aAfter almost 4 months of daily battle that cost this
thousand times worse!precious family much time and money and heartbreak,
Nevertheless, the human race is a hardy race, andone day they found the ancient scabies treatment,
began to devise different ways of defeating thisburied by time. One possible reason that the scabies
ruthless enemy, without destroying the flesh oftreatment had been lost, was its palatability to the
themselves and their children. A way was found, thatmodern human race. This family however, happened
worked wonderfully, to the rejoicing of many of theupon a way that made this ancient tactic palatable.
afflicted of the human race. This way became knownSure enough, as it worked in the old times, the first
as: the scabies treatment. This way was safe fornight of this family's new war tactic on the enemy
even the babies and pregnant women of each tribe,resulted in an astounding victory! For you see, even
and was easily obtained for not a lot of cost.though the family had waged war daily, the vicious
Unfortunately, as there is in almost every good story,sarcoptes scabiei had actually increased, to the point
there were people in the human race that decided toof outnumbering the family at least 12 times! Maybe
use these ruthless mercenaries to benefit their ownmore, since some of the despicable creatures were
selves. These people had lots of money, andtoo afraid to come into the open, but always remained
developed creams and potions that were made to killin hiding, deep in the family's territory.
bugs, and instructed the people to put these creamsOn to the final massacre: as I said probably upwards
on their bodies! Now, you might say, why didn't theof 100 sarcoptes scabiei died that first night. But the
people just use the scabies treatment? Alas, it is calledfamily did not stop until the enemy was obliterated
advertising; and over time this old way becamecompletely in their territory. This happened within the
obsolete. You see, the super wealthy people sellingweek, to the great rejoicing of the family.
these creams used massive advertising, and the lureNow this family has determined to help others being
of money for those who would further their cause.attacked by these ugly creatures, to use this effective,
Little did they care that these insecticides went into thenatural scabies treatment in their own battle against
blood of the people and caused known side effects ofscabies, and obliterate the sarcoptes scabiei from their
nausea, abdominal pain, and even seizures! If theyterritory, and hopefully all territories forevermore. The
could make $35-$100 for a tube the size of half of abattle is won, it has just become a matter of spreading
trial size tube of toothpaste, this would make themthe news!